JOURNEY OUTSIDE THE CAMP

What's your hobby?

Before my kids came along, my passion was writing. I used every spare minute that I had to write. And when my first child was born, I continued to write. I had a full time job then, writing for television, and at home—in the early morning and late at night—I wrote my novels.

Today, I still write. But I don’t work on my books anymore. Nor do I write for television. I’ve long since abandoned my fifth novel and replaced that passion with something more interesting: bringing up my kids. I’ve battled with God about this and he was pretty clear that I ought to lay aside my writing for a season and focus on my family. God said, “Make your kids your hobby.” It was painful to lay aside my writing but it was worth it.

I spend every free minute now with my family. I play with my kids, I take them out, I talk to them, I help with their homework, I discipline them, I get involved in their lives. I know I don’t have much time with them. Ten years perhaps, and they’ll be independent creatures who will spread their time across friends, schoolwork, hobbies and other interests. My daily time with them will be very limited then. And that’s the natural order of things.

So while they’re still young, that’s the season I have with them and it’s the season of instruction. It’s the season when their core values are developed; the season when their character is shaped and most importantly when their relationship with God is forged. They are my most important priority now. I know that God wants my wife and me to focus on them. This season shall pass. We need to make the most of it. 

Therefore, the children are my hobby now. As one of my kids quipped after I said that they were my hobby, “It’s because you like spending time with us right?” Indeed I do. And it’s worth laying aside everything, including my writing to do it.

Leaving a legacy

As I raise my children, one of the key concerns I have is whether or not I am leaving behind a legacy of following Christ. Over the years, I have grown more aware of how my words and deeds rub off on my kids. I used to think that I had to be perfect in front of them; that I had to model the right Christ-like behaviour for them at all times.

This, of course, hasn't worked out according to my vision. I've lost my temper. Many times. I've yelled at my kids. I've reacted poorly to situations. I've had tiffs with my wife. Not the kind of behaviour I would like my kids to witness, let alone emulate. But over the last few months, I've begun to realise that letting them see me fail isn't so bad after all. The important thing is for them to see me get back on my feet. I realise I need to show them how to apolgise, how to seek forgiveness, how to forgive, how to reconcile, or to walk away from trouble. These things are important facets of the legacy I hope to leave with my children.

They haven't learnt all the above yet because I haven't fully learnt it myself. But when they see me trying, when I talk to them about my failures and how I address them, I am teaching them how they too can recover from mistakes. And I don't need to appear to be a hero to my kids. I need to live and demonstrate an authentic Christian life, one covered by the blood of the Lamb and empowered by the Spirit.

1 Corinthians 9:16 -- Compelled

"For preaching the Good News is not something I can boast about. I am compelled by God to do it. How terrible for me if I didn't do it." - 1 Corinthians 9:16

The word compelled has been on my mind a lot lately. I am compelled by God. I am compelled by the love of God. I am compelled by the love of God to love others. I am compelled by God's love to love my family as he loved me. I am compelled by God to share his love, through actions, through his Gospel, through any means he tells me too.

Being compelled is being driven. And it's such an overwhelmingly powerful feeling. Merriam-Webster defines it as: to drive or urge forcefully or irresistibly. And that's exactly how I feel. Because God loves me so much, it drives me to love others. It's an irresistible force. I am not my own, but God's Spirit directs me.

It hasn't always been like this but as I spend more time in his word and in his presence, I feel the force building in me. As I soak up his presence, I am overwhelmed with compassion for others. It is the compassion of Christ. I would be foolhardy to resist it. Indeed, I have done so before and regretted it. Now, I act when God prompts. And not by my own power, but by the Holy Spirit.

Hole in my sock

In the book I've been reading, "Grace-Based Parenting", there's an anecdote by Tim Kimmel the author that is particularly touching. He mentioned that his family was poor when he was in high school and he was pretty shy in class. Once, during gym class, he was called upon by the gym teacher to demonstrate the use of the trampoline. He felt instantly embarrassed not only because attention had been called on him but because to use the trampoline, he had to remove his shoes. And the socks he wore that day had holes in them, holes right where his toes were. You see, he didn't get many new pairs of socks as he was poor. And his worst fears came true the moment he got on the trampoline. The other kids made fun of his socks and cracked jokes about it.

But the time class ended, he had vowed to himself to sew up every hole in every sock he owned. Right after the class was dismissed, the teacher disappeared into his back room and reappeared a few minutes later. Tim was just about to step out the door at that point but the teacher called him back. He took young Tim aside to a secluded corner and said, "Do you know why I picked you out of all the kids to demonstrate the trampoline? That's because I could see right away that you had the strength and skill to do a good job at it. And you know what? Us agile guys always have problems with holes in their socks." And the teacher pulled off his sneakers to reveal that his socks also had holes in the toes.

 

Tim left the gym, feeling only a little better. But he was curious about the word agile. He didn't know what it meant. In English class, he looked it up in the big dictionary in the classroom and found it had two definitions which he wrote down in his notebook:

   

1. marked by ready ability to move with quick easy grace
2. having a quick resourceful and adaptable character <an agile mind>

Tim related that seeing those words, changed the low perception he had of himself. His gym teacher saw him as someone with physical prowess. More than that, he was said to have a quick and resourceful mind. No one had said that to him before. That incident changed him. It not only made him an athele and more outgoing, it spurred him to academic achievement.

 

It was some time later that Tim understood what had happened. His teacher had run off into his office just after class to take a pair of scissors and cut holes in his socks before going to talk to Tim. He had noticed the heckling and the embarrassment Tim had suffered and had taken the trouble to turn that horrible incident into a positive life-changing moment. It was an example of grace.